Duke Nukem Forever PS3 Review

When I was in my late teens, Duke Nukem 3D had just come out and I played it on almost every system it was ported to. It was a great game for the time, which had raunchy humor suitable for a fresh out of high school kid. Duke Nukem 3D was on par with all of the other great FPS games of the time such as Doom and Quake. Alas, the years have not been kind to Duke, and the game has aged horribly like an old high school cheerleader in her late 40s trying to be a teenager again, but minus the great body she had back then. Duke Nukem Forever was 13+ years in the making and it shows, literally. It is like the game is stuck in a time warp from around circa 2000 and never was updated to current standards. I know 2K Games was trying to salvage some of their investment, but honestly, they would have made a ROI if they had just scrapped it and started from scratch.
Duke Nukem was a poster child for the late 1980s and early 1990s. Duke Nukem Forever is stuck in that time warped mentality with juvenile jokes, turd flinging (literally), and numerous actions degrading women. It was humorous back then when this kind of behavior was expected and I was just a teen, but the humor has faded away and this is just a revolting game to play. I understand that gamers such as me are much more mature nowadays, so this kind of game is no longer appealing, but at the same time, Duke Nukem Forever was supposed to bring back nostalgia of yesteryear while also evolving as a game.
Duke Nukem Forever has a single player campaign and a multiplayer game. The single player campaign consists of 23 levels of run and gun shooting, numerous driving levels, and 6 boss battles. Levels are ridiculously small and loading times are horrendous for a game that is installed on the hard drive. Some of the boss fights are glitch to the point of bosses not loading into the level or scripted scenes freezing if the player is still shooting when they try to load such as during the second Octaking battle. Controls are very chaotic, collision-boxes are off, lip-sync is completely out of sync, 3D models are laughable, and animation is absurdly stiff (Like Unreal Tournament stiff…).
Multiplayer is just as bad if not worse. Multiplayer consists of the usual deathmatch, team deathmatch, capture the flag, and king of the hill with Duke Nukem titles replacing the standard game type names. Multiplayer is player hosted, laggy at best, horrible player animations, giblet type deaths circa late 1990s. Controller sensitivity is slow as molasses. Players have 10 maps to choose from with various options and mutators. Player limit is set to 8 players and lobbies can be public or private. Level progression allows for customizing a virtual apartment and Duke’s wardrobe.
Duke Nukem Forever was delayed over 13 years and sadly, it is like they pulled the hard drive with the code from out of storage with cobwebs and mothballs and compiled it for today’s hardware. The game literally plays like Unreal Tournament from 1999. It is a shame that so much hype was put behind this franchise for so long and then to have Duke Nukem Forever fail miserably. This game proves that no matter how popular a game or how much money is shoved behind it; a gold dipped turd is still a turd, just shiny…. Do not even waste your time renting this pile of crap; I still want a refund for my time I lost on this.